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Less is More

A lot of open boxes on the floorWelcome to this week’s edition of ‘The Divorce Whisperer.’ I enjoy sharing my commentary on divorce and child custody matters, because I have been there before. As legal administrator for Sabra Janko, Colorado Springs divorce attorney, I can offer you insight into this uncertain time in your life. If you read my previous articles, we covered a lot of ground already.

Today, I want to chat about personal property. A few days ago, I was going through my bins to set up Christmas decorations. I realized I don’t have a lot of stuff. Most of what I own is in the basement where I live and the garage. My sparse, monk-like space wasn’t a product of my ex not giving me a thing or refusing to do so; rather it was by choice.

When I was asked the question, ‘what do you want from the house?,’ I took a pause as I roamed through our marital home with pen and paper. Keeping in mind there may be emotional attachments to items like photos, figurines or a collection of dishes. If I were to use my emotions to figure out what I wanted, my ex would most likely be left with a near empty space or would push back on items I would choose to remove from the house. But I used both emotion and logic and framed this as an opportunity to prune things out of my life, start anew and simply not move as much stuff.

At first, I thought of my son. I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible and not really be affected by a near empty home. I’d rather be the one to take the brunt of that. Also, I really wanted to get away from the house as quick as I could and I didn’t want to be bogged down with coordinating movers, paying money for that and taking more time than I wanted. Four car trips to transport things to my new place was all I needed. And with the help of my roommate’s pick-up truck, it took one trip for the bigger items.

Most important to me was a fine china set I got as a gift from my mom, a Keurig I won in contest, and a few other kitchen items I have curated over the years. An advantage of being a military spouse is there was always a set of two for most things because the spouse may have lived away for some time, and you were living elsewhere. In my case, there were two bedroom sets, so I took one. There was also several wine glass sets and flatware, so I grabbed those too. I took the obvious with me like my clothing, books, and DVDs.

The best thing I did was to itemize everything according to categories. You can either do it by items: clothes, books, furniture. Or by room: Living room, dining room, kitchen. I used the ‘by room’ method. It was easier to go room by room to decide what I wanted to start my new life. I had asked myself several questions as well. It was akin to decluttering when you ask yourself: does this bring me joy? When was the last time I used this? If you’re in the depths of emotion upheaval, it’s best to do this when you aren’t. I understand that can be a challenge because when are we not? Without thinking about it too much, I did end up forcing myself to have such a day. This is the point where I had to put blinkers on, think about my new life and to have solitude while I took stock of what I wanted to bring with me.

I don’t regret leaving certain things behind, nor taking others. I’ve learned to live with the bare minimum for now; then when I’m ready, I can fill my space with new things and new memories.

If you need a top-notch Colorado divorce attorney to assist you with your journey:

Please feel free to contact our Colorado Springs divorce lawyer at 719-344-5523.

Client Reviews
Excellent service! Sabra and her team work diligently while looking for all the little details that impact the case. Im so grateful to have found this firm. Great communication from start to finish. Also they were very patient with my lack of understanding the court process. Highly recommend! Chris Faucett
As an active duty service member I can definitely say that at Janko Family Law Solutions I was served with the utmost professionalism, in a timely and efficient manner. Very glad I discovered these experienced professionals to assist me in my legal circumstances, and I will certainly be recommending them to people in the future. Rebecca Cody
Sabra and her office are wonderful to work with! ... very knowledgeable, supportive, and compassionate during the entire process. The experience and legal expertise are evident. Tim Halladay
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